March 11th, 2009
I’m at home, which means that:
a. I have no friends around, since I went to boarding school (okay, this may also have to do with my poor social skills, but whatever)
b. Pineland is far away, meaning that going for a ski is out of the question (although that’s mostly because I have a lot of work to do on c.)
c. There’s only so much work I can do on my independent study without losing my mind
d. At a certain point, there’s nothing left to do besides post on the blog
Today, I’ve decided that I’m finally going to quit being subtle and using subliminal messaging. Instead, I’m going to come clean about the purpose of this blog–it’s actually a recruiting tool, and has been since I started it. Thus, I am now going to stop beating around the bush, and provide readers with
10 reasons why you should ski at Bowdoin
1. No other college has a blog on fasterskier. Okay, okay, I know that’s not true, or even close to true. But, UVM’s is written by a coach, which by default means that it can’t include anything baller like trash talk, funny pictures, or even emo introspection. And there’s Mark Johnson, I suppose, but he’s in Scandinavia, which implies irrelevance.
2. Next year, I will be gone, which means that the most annoying and/or difficult person on the team will be gone (unless Ollie’s still around…)
3. Unlike like if you go to Dartmouth, you will never have to worry about being squeezed out of an NCAA spot by your own teammates.
4. You will have huge baller coaches.
That dude at the back, skiing with (okay, slightly behind) the lead pack, which includes former Olympian Justin Freeman? Yeah, that’s right, that’s my coach. Now, some of you might say, “oh, yeah, whatever, Paul Stone or Tracey Cote could have totally toasted Nathan had they been in this race.” Which may be true. However, in terms of skillz during college skiing career compared to skillz as a coach (especially with no time for training), Nathan totally takes it, given that it seems that he has actually improved since he was a student (this gives me hope).
5. You have the opportunity to learn tricks of the trade from one of the oldest, wisest practitioners of the sport out there. It’s basically like being on a team with Yoda. (He’s taking a year off next year to qualify for the Olympics, but he’ll be back when you’re a sophomore in 2011.)
6. Excellent recovery thanks to three-time Div. 1 NCAA champion in food: http://www.bowdoin.edu/dining/ (scroll down to read about Bowdoin dining domination–with 27% coming from local sources!)
7. Friendly, gold-medal winning alumni are always willing to offer support (one time, she beat me in a running race, and then cooled down with me and some friends, and I almost got dropped).
8. Though some might see a Maine location as a disadvantage for EISA competition, our optimal distance from Manchester, New Hampshire means that the late van always gets to eat at Luisa’s, which is without question far and away the best possible place to eat the night before a race (unless you get a large broccoli and hamburger calzone, in which case you will feel really good while you’re eating it, but then when you wake up to get ready for the classic sprint the next day, you will feel like there is a gigantic brick in your stomach).
9. Dance parties:
10. Your mascot will kick everyone else’s mascot’s ass. First of all, two of them are colors. I don’t think I really have to say any more about that. Others are various types of cats, which everyone knows are unfriendly and less cool than dogs: bob (Bates), wild (UNH), and big (Middlebury and UVM). Then, there’s the feeble, pathetic, and sometimes sterile mammal division, which consists of the Williams Ephs (purple cows), and the Colby Mules. Finally, there are the Purple Knights of St. Mike’s and the Saint Lawrence Saints. The only thing sillier than a purple (and therefore sexually frustrated) knight is a college that can’t think of a word for a mascot that isn’t already in its own name. In any case, all of this provocation is totally unnecessary, because I don’t think that there’s a single person out there who would honestly try to deny that the polar bear is far and away the coolest, most ballin mascot out there.
March 17th, 2009 at 4:17 am
Bravo. Well said. Oh, and I saw a nice little picture of you cheering in the Team Alaska sportsbra section during JOs. Nice.
March 18th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
While your departure from the EISA may make your blog less relevant to my daily activities it will undoubtedly stay among my favorite reads because of posts like this one. When discussing fast coaches (my name should not come up by the way) you should remember Patrick Weaver, Andrew Johnson, and Holly Brooks… huge ballers.