The last time I updated this blog, I think I mentioned something about how my knee was slightly messed up, due to an excess of riding and hiking in California. Unfortunately, it hasn’t gotten much better, so I’ve been doing a lot of sitting around.

Some of you might wonder what kinds of things injured, retired skiers do. Allow me to enlighten you:

1. Get my wisdom teeth out. The best part of this activity was when my roommate took me to the grocery store to get ice cream while I was still messed up on anesthesia. I saw my independent study advisor with his kid, and excitedly told him through 4 bloody wads of cotton that “I feel like I just drank 10 beers.”  He seemed to appreciate it.

2. Focus on growing out my facial hair. Before I shaved today I had achieved previously inconceivable levels of manginess.

3. Read everything in existence on the internet related to skiing, cycling, and everything else, especially things related to Somali pirates and my friend’s high school basketball coach (yes, the ship captain was my friend’s AAU coach). And watch youtube videos.  Recent highlights include some witty repartee between Zach Caldwell and Andrew Gardner on twitter (would this be “twitty repartee?”); cat vs. printer; and ECCC cycling results.

4. Swim. If you could come to the pool and watch, this would probably be the funniest part of this blog post, since I am a comically bad swimmer. It looks something like this, but with more coughing and water going up my nose. I usually swim for half an hour at a time and make it like ten laps.

5. Sit around and pick my nose and feel sorry for myself for not being able to bike race. And complain about it.

6. Skip class. Okay, I’ve actually only done this once (I think it was the first time all year), and it was today, but it was pretty sweet. First, I walked all the way from the dining hall on one side of campus to Sills Hall on the other. Then, when I got there, it was really sunny, and the voices in my head told me that I had to turn around and walk to the Quad instead. There was honestly nothing I could do to resist (parents, if you’re reading this…uhh…sorry). On the way to the Quad, I walked by my professor on her way to the classroom. Oops. Well, even though she is elderly now, I sure she was young once and probably understands.

Aside from doing homework, I honestly can only think of a couple of other things that I’ve actually done over the last few weeks. The one actual disappointing part about my predicament is that I’m going to end the year at like 490 hours of training, which is tantalizingly close to the much more rad number of 500. Or maybe sometime next week I’ll go out for a ten-hour double pole…

Northug to Enroll at Bowdoin, Join Nordic Ski Team

April 1st, 2008

BRUNSWICK, ME–In a surprising development, Bowdoin College President Barry Mills announced today that Norwegian superstar Petter Northug Jr. will be enrolling at the College starting next year.

“After seeing the unfair advantages of the Western schools at NCAA’s with their imported talent, I decided to do something about it,” Mills said. “Given that our college has an obscenely large endowment, I would like to apply it to something useful, for once.”

In order to entice Northug to Bowdoin, Mills said that the school had put together a $20,000,000 scholarship package, which also includes incentives for both academic and athletic performance. In addition, Mills said that the College will be purchasing Casio Eyewear for all students working in laboratories.

Northug will be allowed to race in the EISA circuit due to a rule known as the “Shepard exemption,” which allows old people to participate in NCAA competition if they have previously been on a national team.

In an interview, Northug said that he didn’t expect to have very much trouble with eastern collegiate skiers.

“In the Tour de Ski this year, I made Axel Teichmann my b—-. What makes you think that I’ll have any trouble with Dartmouth?” he said through a translator.

Northug added that he would be double majoring in gender and womens’ studies and art history at Bowdoin. With uncharacteristic humility, he also said that he was glad to have the opportunity to tap into the rich history of nordic skiing at the school.

“To have the chance to learn and ski at the same institution as the great Nat Herz–this is a true honor,” he said. “Nat is known far and wide in my native country as one of the hugest ballers, ever.”