Nordic Combined Blog Banner

Posts Tagged ‘bowling alley’

Life on the Circuit: Bowling Bet out of Boredom Video

Friday, March 14th, 2014

Editor’s Note: The above video and blog post below by Fast Big Dog, a world traveller with the U.S. Ski Team, are satirical. Take them with a grain of humor.

 

Traveling on the World Cup can be described using a phrase I learned in mountaineering, “a few minutes of excitement surrounded by hours of boredom.” Since today is a day off for Nordic Combined and there will not be a lot of activity, to help maintain everyone’s sanity and to get us the hell out of the hotel, we, like cross-country the night before, descending upon the primary form of entertainment in Falun, Sweden, the local bowling alley. Unlike the more staid and reserved xc crowd, we felt compelled to put a wager on this event.

 

Setting the terms for the bet was a bit difficult, as world-renowned “Drink the last beer in the fridge,” Matt Whitcomb had cleaned out this fine establishment’s ONLY beer. That’s right, the bowling alley in Falun not only had one beer for sale two nights ago, but they also somehow didn’t find it important to replenish this extensive supply for the next night’s clientele. For the safety of all of bowling alley proprietors reading this in the city of Philadelphia, NEVER try this, as it will likely cost you your life. What I found to be particularly appalling however, was the selfishness of the entire cross country coaching staff. Upon confronting Whitcomb and Grover with this in the lobby of the hotel, they confessed that they had in fact taken the last and only beer, but attempted to wiggle their way out of this transgression by explaining that they had been forced to split it three ways.

 

There are several troubling elements to this sad tale, most particularly the fact that it doesn’t seem like it would have been too much to ask for Whitcomb, Grover and Cork to anticipate our arrival the next night and do as we would have done and only drink 3/7′s of what was apparently the last beer in Falun, therein leaving some for us on the following evening. Seriously guys, I thought you were better than that. After all, can you think of anything more refreshing than going out with your crew and each enjoying 1.71 ounces of beer? I certainly cannot. This just doesn’t seem like too much to ask.

 

So, greatly handicapped by the complete lack of alcohol to help guide these decisions, we settled upon what, given the circumstances, proved to be quite ingenious: the loser had to wear his underpants home on the outside of his jeans. This video says it all. Well, almost all. I won’t ruin the surprise, but let’s just say that the match was decided on the cumulative score of two games. The eventual loser (both in life and in this match), had a SEVENTY pin lead over two other athletes, only to fold like Superman on laundry day in the final game. Enjoy.

 

– Fast Big Dog

Trouble viewing video? Click here.